Breitbart TV Articles Breitbart. Billy Joe Saunders and Willie Monroe Jr. Saturday in a WBO middleweight title bout, but one side is already taking cheap shots. The fight garnered controversy when Saunders seven year old son, Stevie, punched Monroe in the groinby. Photo The heart of the MOX boondoggle coverup 17 billion MOX plant under construction at Savannah River Site SRS High Flyer, special to SRS Watch photo. Over 22,000 fans were evacuated from the Tomorrowland music festival in Barcelona on Saturday after an unspecified technical malfunction caused the stage to. Its Monday, which makes it a good day to channel your inner currentgen Mazda Miata smiling on the outside, yet ready to give somebody a hardcore evil eye at any. Ive been taking my kids to the beach for years now and in that time we have brought along any number of cumbersome, worthless beach toys bulldozers and rakes and. We have told you not to stare at the Sun today. We have told you to use safety glasses. We have tried so very hard, and we are so very tired. Trent Baker. 15 Sep 2. Dig A Hole At The Beach. Ive been taking my kids to the beach for years now and in that time we have brought along any number of cumbersome, worthless beach toys bulldozers and rakes and sand trowels and bad frisbees and this little wheel thingie where you put water in the top and it makes the wheel go spin spin. I have carried these toys in a mesh bag for a mile and back, time and again, all for nothing. Because the truth is that there are only two toys you need when you go to the beach. The first is a bucket. On Wednesday, Facebook announced the rollout of Watch, what it is calling a new platform for shows on Facebook. Its yet another foray by the social media. The second is a shovel. And that is because the greatest beach toy in the world is not a toy at all. Its a HOLE. Sand holes are the best. I know a lot of people like building sandcastles, but sandcastles are horse shit. Im not spending all day delicately tapping on the bottom of pails and etching crown moulding into the sand just to erect some miniature Camelot that will get ruined by a stray child or dog. Watch breaking news videos, viral videos and original video clips on CNN. Read the Latest Entertainment and Celebrity News, TV News and Breaking News from TVGuide. Breitbart TV is the home of the hottest video on politics, world events, culture, and media. The classic US stereotype of attempted Iranian ideological indoctrination via chants of Death to America and such has been old hat for quite some time. As noted. Im digging a hole, motherfucker. I can keep these kids occupied with a hole for hours, without spending a nickel. So lets do that now. What You Need. Okay, so like I said, you gotta have a bigass shovel. You can even bring a real shovel if you want to look like a pro and excavate a hole the size of a human grave. I love that. Please note that some beaches ask you to NOT dig deep holes, because maintenance vehicles fall into them and are never heard from again. But for now, fuck all that. Bring a big shovel and get ready to WORK. And for the kids, give their sorry asses those three dollar shovels. Make sure theyre all the same color or else theyll fight over who gets the red one. The Peanuts Cartoon Free Online Cartoon here. You Can Also Dig With Your Hands Digging is good exercise. You work your hands, and your forearms, and you get to wrench your back repeatedly, which is healthy. But the real fun in digging is the mental aspect. I spend every beach dig pretending that Im trying to strike oil, or searching for NAZI GOLD, or literally digging to China Hello, China, or digging a trench for some sadistic prison warden. Thats why sometimes I forgo the shovel entirely and go right to hand digging. Youd be surprised how much earth you can move with just your meaty paws, plus I feel like Im about to unearth a mummy. FORGIVE ME FOR DISTURBING YOU, O PHAROAH. Where To Put Your Hole So youve got your shovels and youre ready to dig. Now, what I like to do is check the tide chart and see if the water is coming in or out. Then I check to see where the surf is falling on the beach. If the tide is going out, Im gonna start digging in wetter sand. And if its coming in, Im digging a little bit farther inland, becauseThe Goal Is To Make Your Hole A Pool. When the wave hits your hole and fills it and you get to cry out EVERYBODY IN THE POOL Thats the best. Sure, your pool is really just a puddle. But kids dont give a fuck. They jump around in that thing and giggle like madmen. Sometimes you can even luck out and hit the groundwater, which means your little pool stays two inches deep forever Or until the ocean sweeps it away five seconds later. CRABS Oh shit You dug up a crab Quick, grab a bucket Were gonna put it in there with all the other crabs we found and make a CRAB PRISON. Yesterday I picked up a horseshoe crab only to be told by the lifeguard that I was accidentally murdering the crab by grabbing it by its tail which connects directly to its spine. Sorry about that, horseshoe crab, but we both kinda knew you were too ugly to deserve to live anyway. Make A Seat I like to sit on the edge of the hole and scoop out sand from there. After just a few minutes, my ass has made a large and permanent indent on the landscape, a seat comfortable enough for ocean viewing, and maybe even taking in an outdoor screening. We Must Protect This Hole. The ocean is a cruel strumpet that will wipe away a whole afternoons work in a matter of seconds. That is why you should always fortify your hole with a protective trench along the perimeter. This trench has all the protective qualities of an expired condom, but at least youll FEEL like youre standing sentry over a World War I foxhole by digging a three inch moat in the sand with your heel. The kids like to then trace a canal from that trench directly into the ocean, in order to fill it up. This never works out the way they planned it. Do Not Kill Yourself Making A Tunnel. I love to dig two holes and then make a tunnel between the two. The second I break through, I feel like I just joined the Transcontinental Railroad together. However, you should note the digging tunnels has led to multiple people getting trapped in those tunnels and burying themselves alive, drowning in mouthfuls of horrible, horrible sand. But dont let that stop you from having a good day in your hole. ITS A GOOD OLD FASHIONED HOLE DIGGIN BY GAR ITS BEEN AWHILE.